The Office - Season 3, Episode 20 - Product Recall

Before I get to the recapping, I must show you the 2 clips that were the BEST part of the episode. (The video has both clips back to back)



To start the episode, Jim walks in and imitates Dwight.

Jim: Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question …
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought …
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

To end the episode, Dwight imitates Jim. Who did it better? I just don't know!

The episode focused on an obscene watermark that threw the entire office into a frenzy.

Michael: We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24-pound cream letter stock. 500 boxes has gone out with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I’ve never been a fan.

Creed's ass is on the line for this one.

Creed: Every week, I’m supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.

All the employees must work in crisis mode to take care of customer complaints. The head of customer service, Kelly, summed it up:

Kelly: This day is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, this day is bananas, B-A-N-A …

Kelly is put in charge of training accounting personnel to answer phone calls. Let's just say that Angela is not one to apologize.

Meanwhile, Michael puts Jim in charge of going to the local high school to give a formal apology to them. Apparently they printed their prom invitations on this paper. Michael teams Jim up with Andy for this one.

Andy (cockney accent): William Doolittle at your service. AKA, Will Do.
Jim: Yeah, I’m definitely going to go alone.
Michael: No, no, I need two men on this. That’s what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME

Dwight is put in charge of a press conference. Michael invited over one of the valued customers to come in and issue a formal apology and give a large oversized check for free paper. Dwight calls a newspaper reporter to cover the story.

Michael: Here’s the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is to call a press conference. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.

Creed gets to work on finding someone else to blame this problem on. He calls the plant to find a scapegoat.

Creed: Who wasn’t there last week? Debbie Brown. And which day was that? Wednesday the eleventh. Perfect.

Kelly gets to work training Angela, Oscar and Kevin.

Kelly: Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.
Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you’re missing while you’re teaching us to answer calls.
Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.
Angela: Can you just tell us what we need to do so we can go?
Kelly: Okay, Angela. I love your enthusiasm! All you need to know how to do is pick up the phone and say, “Customer Service, this is Kelly,” except don’t say Kelly. Say your own name. Or if you’re bored, you can just make up a name. Like one time, I said I was Bridget Jones, (British accent) and I talked like this for the whole conversation.
Kevin: Oooh, can I be … (awkward accent) Australian, mate?
Kelly: Absolutely!
Kevin: ‘ello … mate.
Kelly: I like ice cream. I need a boyfriend.
Kevin: I like ice cream, too, mate. Alli-ga-tors, and dingo babies.

Jim and Andy take their trip to the high school and on the ride over Andy tells Jim about his new girlfriend. Jim is bored and asks for some music and Andy starts singing. Jim suggests a CD instead. Andy says to "beer" him a cd. Apparently any time he asks someone to give him something he says "beer me"

Jim: Lord, beer me strength.

Back at the office, Dwight is putting together the press conference. He starts moving people around to put the most attractive workers in the front.

Dwight: First rule in roadside beet sales: the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, “wow, I need this beet right now.” Those are the money beets.

Jim and Andy then get to the school and Andy is very surprised to see his girlfriend there. And no, she isn't a teacher or a social worker. She is a very young student.

Andy: I had no idea.
Jim: Well … that’s not going to hold up in court.
Andy: We didn’t do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.

Andy is pissed and confronts her and of course that doesn't go over so well.

At the meeting with the principal Andy takes out his frustration.

Andy: One of your students is a bitch.
Jim: Andy is having a real rough day today.
Andy: I want to take out an ad in your yearbook. Full page, two words.
Jim: “Good luck.”
Jim: That’s not what I had in mind.

Angela meanwhile is having a really hard time being sincere to the customers, while Oscar and Kevin do a great job at apologizing.

Angela: Excuse me? Well I don’t see how that’s our fault. And I’ve already told you the official position of Dunder Mifflin is apologetic. So I don’t know what you want from me.

The meeting with Mrs. Allen (the customer for the press conference) isn't going so well either. She is really offended by the watermark. Dwight responds:

Dwight: May I point out that the sex appeared to be consensual; both animals were smiling.

Dwight: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.

Mrs. Allen is still not satisfied and she does not accept Michael's apology. She tells Michael he should step down from his position because of what happened.

Mrs. Allen: I’m calling the Better Business Bureau!
Michael: Yeah, well, I’m calling the Ungrateful Bee-yotch Hotline!

Michael then goes to the one place where people can openly confront the issues: You Tube.

(on the video) Michael: Hello, I am Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. By now, you are probably sick of hearing about Dunder Miffliin and our embarrassing watermark boner.

Michael: If I could leave you with one thought, remember, it wasn’t me. They are trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to god, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day.
Pam: One day for what?
Michael: That’s — they always give an ultimatum.

So the apology video wasn't so much of an apology and didn't resolve anything. But that's Michael's speciality.

And the episode ends with Creed going around getting everyone to sign a good-bye card and chip in some money for Debbie, who was fired for the entire fiasco. And then he walks out and pockets the money. That's Creed for you.

And just for fun...Dwight as Jim.

Dwight: Pam.
Pam: Hey Dwight. You look really nice today.
Dwight (scoffing): I look like an idiot. Hey, Karen.
Karen: Hey, Dwight. Lookin’ sharp!
Dwight: Yeah, that’s ’cause I’m your boyfriend, Jim Halpert. Hey, Karen, wanna get together later and have sexual intercourse ’cause you’re my girlfriend?
Jim: Do you?
Karen: No.
Jim: Okay.
Karen: I’m good. Thanks.
Jim: Look at that.
Dwight: I’m Jim Halpert.
Jim: Spot on.
Dwight: Bleah bleah, a little comment.

Quotes and picture of Dwight as Jim from the Office Tally.