The Office - Season 3, Episode 20 - Product Recall

Before I get to the recapping, I must show you the 2 clips that were the BEST part of the episode. (The video has both clips back to back)



To start the episode, Jim walks in and imitates Dwight.

Jim: Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question …
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought …
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

To end the episode, Dwight imitates Jim. Who did it better? I just don't know!

The episode focused on an obscene watermark that threw the entire office into a frenzy.

Michael: We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24-pound cream letter stock. 500 boxes has gone out with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I’ve never been a fan.

Creed's ass is on the line for this one.

Creed: Every week, I’m supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.

All the employees must work in crisis mode to take care of customer complaints. The head of customer service, Kelly, summed it up:

Kelly: This day is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, this day is bananas, B-A-N-A …

Kelly is put in charge of training accounting personnel to answer phone calls. Let's just say that Angela is not one to apologize.

Meanwhile, Michael puts Jim in charge of going to the local high school to give a formal apology to them. Apparently they printed their prom invitations on this paper. Michael teams Jim up with Andy for this one.

Andy (cockney accent): William Doolittle at your service. AKA, Will Do.
Jim: Yeah, I’m definitely going to go alone.
Michael: No, no, I need two men on this. That’s what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME

Dwight is put in charge of a press conference. Michael invited over one of the valued customers to come in and issue a formal apology and give a large oversized check for free paper. Dwight calls a newspaper reporter to cover the story.

Michael: Here’s the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is to call a press conference. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.

Creed gets to work on finding someone else to blame this problem on. He calls the plant to find a scapegoat.

Creed: Who wasn’t there last week? Debbie Brown. And which day was that? Wednesday the eleventh. Perfect.

Kelly gets to work training Angela, Oscar and Kevin.

Kelly: Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is ’cause you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.
Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you’re missing while you’re teaching us to answer calls.
Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.
Angela: Can you just tell us what we need to do so we can go?
Kelly: Okay, Angela. I love your enthusiasm! All you need to know how to do is pick up the phone and say, “Customer Service, this is Kelly,” except don’t say Kelly. Say your own name. Or if you’re bored, you can just make up a name. Like one time, I said I was Bridget Jones, (British accent) and I talked like this for the whole conversation.
Kevin: Oooh, can I be … (awkward accent) Australian, mate?
Kelly: Absolutely!
Kevin: ‘ello … mate.
Kelly: I like ice cream. I need a boyfriend.
Kevin: I like ice cream, too, mate. Alli-ga-tors, and dingo babies.

Jim and Andy take their trip to the high school and on the ride over Andy tells Jim about his new girlfriend. Jim is bored and asks for some music and Andy starts singing. Jim suggests a CD instead. Andy says to "beer" him a cd. Apparently any time he asks someone to give him something he says "beer me"

Jim: Lord, beer me strength.

Back at the office, Dwight is putting together the press conference. He starts moving people around to put the most attractive workers in the front.

Dwight: First rule in roadside beet sales: the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, “wow, I need this beet right now.” Those are the money beets.

Jim and Andy then get to the school and Andy is very surprised to see his girlfriend there. And no, she isn't a teacher or a social worker. She is a very young student.

Andy: I had no idea.
Jim: Well … that’s not going to hold up in court.
Andy: We didn’t do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.

Andy is pissed and confronts her and of course that doesn't go over so well.

At the meeting with the principal Andy takes out his frustration.

Andy: One of your students is a bitch.
Jim: Andy is having a real rough day today.
Andy: I want to take out an ad in your yearbook. Full page, two words.
Jim: “Good luck.”
Jim: That’s not what I had in mind.

Angela meanwhile is having a really hard time being sincere to the customers, while Oscar and Kevin do a great job at apologizing.

Angela: Excuse me? Well I don’t see how that’s our fault. And I’ve already told you the official position of Dunder Mifflin is apologetic. So I don’t know what you want from me.

The meeting with Mrs. Allen (the customer for the press conference) isn't going so well either. She is really offended by the watermark. Dwight responds:

Dwight: May I point out that the sex appeared to be consensual; both animals were smiling.

Dwight: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.

Mrs. Allen is still not satisfied and she does not accept Michael's apology. She tells Michael he should step down from his position because of what happened.

Mrs. Allen: I’m calling the Better Business Bureau!
Michael: Yeah, well, I’m calling the Ungrateful Bee-yotch Hotline!

Michael then goes to the one place where people can openly confront the issues: You Tube.

(on the video) Michael: Hello, I am Michael Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. By now, you are probably sick of hearing about Dunder Miffliin and our embarrassing watermark boner.

Michael: If I could leave you with one thought, remember, it wasn’t me. They are trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to god, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day.
Pam: One day for what?
Michael: That’s — they always give an ultimatum.

So the apology video wasn't so much of an apology and didn't resolve anything. But that's Michael's speciality.

And the episode ends with Creed going around getting everyone to sign a good-bye card and chip in some money for Debbie, who was fired for the entire fiasco. And then he walks out and pockets the money. That's Creed for you.

And just for fun...Dwight as Jim.

Dwight: Pam.
Pam: Hey Dwight. You look really nice today.
Dwight (scoffing): I look like an idiot. Hey, Karen.
Karen: Hey, Dwight. Lookin’ sharp!
Dwight: Yeah, that’s ’cause I’m your boyfriend, Jim Halpert. Hey, Karen, wanna get together later and have sexual intercourse ’cause you’re my girlfriend?
Jim: Do you?
Karen: No.
Jim: Okay.
Karen: I’m good. Thanks.
Jim: Look at that.
Dwight: I’m Jim Halpert.
Jim: Spot on.
Dwight: Bleah bleah, a little comment.

Quotes and picture of Dwight as Jim from the Office Tally.

Quote

"The function of science fiction is not always to predict the future but sometimes to prevent it."
- Frank Herbert

Lost - Season 3, Episode 18 - "D.O.C" Recap/Review

(a.ka. "The better late than never" recap!)

The awesomeness of Lost's third season continues with another great episode, this week's "D.O.C."I loved how they went straight back to the parachutist from last week. Unlike the surprise ending with Locke's dad three weeks ago, the show continued on with their story without a big diversion and unnecessary filler (*cough*). At the same time, they were able to address another important storyline this episode, Who is the father of Sun's baby? AND continuing the whole Juliet/Trust issue. All in one solid hour! With one whopping surprise!

We start with Sun in her garden. She hears sounds nearby and the look on her face is sudden fear. Obviously, she's still traumatized from her abduction last season. But it's not someone scary, it's Jack. He's come to check up on her, but his incessant questions arouse Sun's curiosity.

Flashback! In a city in Korea (Seoul, perhaps?), Sun is walking along with shopping bags. She's smiling brightly. She receives a call on her cell. It's her husband, Jin. They greet each other with "Mr." and "Mrs." Kwon, enjoying the formality of the title, a sign that is early in their marriage. Sun goes to sit down on a bench near a woman reading a newspaper. The woman overhears Sun on the phone and sees a picture of Sun and Jin in the paper announcing their marriage. Coincidence? No. The woman seems to know a lot about Jin's heritage. She says his father was a fisherman (which we knew) and his mother was a prostitute (which we didn't). The woman says she'll spill Jin's secret unless Sun pays her one hundred thousand dollars. Drama!


We next cut to Desmond, Jin, Charlie, and Hurley standing over the parachutist. I was relieved to see she's still alive, but in bad shape. She's talking in random languages. Finally, she says something in Spanish and Hurley understands her. "She says she's dying!" Hurley exclaims. They look at the side of her abdomen, where a sharp branch has punctured her lung. Hurley goes to look through her bag for a medical kit while the others agree that they need Jack. Desmond says he'll run to camp and bring him back, but Charlie says that thats crazy. There's all kinds of scary things in the jungle and they can't just stay with the woman until then. Why? says Desmond. "No one knows we're here." At that moment, Hurley shoots off a flaregun from the woman's backpack that tells everyone on their side of the Island where they're at.

"Oops," he says.



On the beach, Sun is helping Kate rebuild her tent. They spot Jack nearby and Sun starts to comment about what happened to Jack when he was captured by the Others. Whether they should trust him at all now. She says, "He seems different." (I agree.) Finally, Sun admits he came to her asking about her pregenacy. She's concerned. Maybe The Others want her baby? Kate is quiet, but her silence betrays her knowledge. Finally, she spills the beans about Juliet and that "something" happens to pregnant women on this island. Enraged, Sun goes to see Juliet and confronts her on the subject. She challenges her, she wants to know what "her" people are up too. She demands, "What happens to pregnant women on this island?!" "They die," Juliet says.

Back at the landing site, the parachutist is still in pain on the floor. The guys are arguing about what to do when they hear brushes crackling nearby. Desmond pulls out his knife, when Mikhail (from the Flame!) comes running out of the jungle. Whoa! They all stare at each other for a moment and then Mikhail runs in the other direction. Jin pursues! He catches up with him and the two of them engage in a cool little fistfight. Jin wins, of course.

They take Mikhail back to the parachuist and Desmond throws him up against a tree with the flaregun pointed at his chest. But Mikhail refuses to talk. Charlie sheds some light on the situation. "He's that guy who shot Sayid." Kate told them all about it (when was that exactly? in the one day between when she got back and before this latest escapade. anyway..) Hurley voices the question we're all thinking. "Didn't that guy die?"

The parachuist moans a little and Mikhail smiles his Russian grin. He says he was a field medic for the Soviet army and he'll look at her. Desmond leads him towards the woman, gun still trained on his chest. Mikhail looks her over and says her lung has been punctured by the branch. "I can fix her," he says, "if you promise to let me go."Desmond agrees and asks, "What do you need?"

In Korea, Sun walks down a lonely (and familiar) dock to find Jin's father. She's holding a dossier on him, but he seems to know exactly who she is. He takes her back to his home where they drink tea and discuss Jin. He confirms what the woman said about Jin's mother. "She was with many men," he says. He's not even sure he's his real father, but who else would take care of the boy? Jin's father is happy to see her and happy to hear about his son, but he doesn't want Sun to tell him anything when she gets back home. It's a sad touching scene, also nice to see an reappearance of a flashback-land character again. (We last met Jin's father in the first season episode "...In Translation.")

In camp, a sleeping Sun is woken suddenly by Juliet. She says she has answers for Sun, if she trusts her and leaves right now with her. Sun is dubious, but agrees. They set off walking to The Staff station. On the way, Sun pesters her with questions. Juliet admits that based on her research (specifically her experience with Claire), a woman who becomes pregnant off the island but gives birth on the island will be okay, but if Sun became pregnant on the island, she may be in deep trouble. At the Staff, they have equipment that will perform an ultrasound and they can determine the D.O.C, the date of conception. Sun is still unsure, since she knows that Claire and Kate and Rosseau found that station before and didn't find anything working. (That happened in the second season episode, Maternity Leave. Kate, apparently, loves to tell stories over the campfire.) Juliet just smiles, "They didn't know where to look," she says.

In Korea, Sun goes to see her father, Mr. Paik. She asks for one hundred thousand dollars. Her father doesn't give it too easily, but figures out it has something to do with Jin. He agrees to give her the money, but says that Jin will now work directly for him as payment for this favor. He gives her the money.

Back in the jungle, Mikhail is working under torchlight to save the woman. He prepares to reveal the bleeding in her lungs and needs someone's help. Desmond, gungho, leans down to help. The woman starts to convulse and seems to be on the brink of death when Mikhail stabs her with a hyperbolic needle and pulls out the branch. The woman says something in Italian. "Thank you."

Elsewhere in the jungle, Sun and Juliet enter the Staff and go to the locker room where Kate found Mr. Friendly's costume way back in the day. She pulls some secret door bullshit and they go inside a room littered with equipment, beds, and dolls. Sun asks, "What is this place?" Juliet, grudingly, admits, "This is where we brought the women to die."

Above the parachuist's body, Mikhail asks if they are going to let him go. Charlie says, "of course not!" But Desmond is a man of his word and lets him leave. As soon as he does, though, Jin notices the satelite phone from the last episode is missing. He takes off after Mikhail (again). The Russian just smiles, "How could you respect me if I didn't try?" Charlie again says, "We can't keep letting these people go!" but Desmond lets Mikhail leave.

In the Staff, Sun reveals to Juliet that Jin is infertile. But Juliet says, "Before you got to this island." She explains that men have an average sperm count of 60 and 80 million, but on this island, it's five times that. With that, Juliet begins an ultrasound examination on Sun's belly. After a moment, she sees the baby on the screen and hears the heartbeat. Sun asks if it's a boy or girl but Juliet laughs. "It's too early for that." She comments that the heartbeat is strong and healthy. She takes the necessary measurement and concludes that Sun got pregnant 53 days ago, and they've been on the island about eighty days.

In Korea, Sun goes to the bridge where she first met the woman. She hands over an envelope, the woman she demanded. She asks the woman why she didn't just say she was Jin's mother. The woman says, "I gave birth to him, but I am not his mother." Sun then threatens the woman to leave her and Jin alone forever or she will unleash her family's power and destroy her.

Outside the Staff, Sun wonders how long she has and assures Juliet she's happy with the news, despite the grim future. Juliet says she needs to go back inside in case she missed anything. (hmm...) In the locker room, Juliet opens one of the locker and takes out a hand held tape recorder. She records a message to Ben telling him that Sun is pregnant and was impregnated on the island and that she is "working" on getting samples from the other woman. She turns off the tape and whispers, "I hate you."

In the jungle, Charlie and Jin and Desmond are building a stretcher. Charlie says they should have never let Mikhail go. "We can't trust them," he says, despite their new friendliness with Juliet. "We should have killed him," Charlie says. Desmond says, by his count, they've killed more than the Others have killed the survivors. Further up the hill, Hurley is watching over the parachuist. She starts to talk, in English (finally!) She asks where she is and who Hurley is. He says his name and says that he's one of the survivors of Flight 815. The woman recognizes the flight. "Out of Sydney?" she asks. She shakes her head. "That's not possible. They found the plane. There were no survivors. They were all dead."

* * *

GREAT ending to a great episode! Lost's track record for this latter half of the season is right-on! Another surprise ending and lots of interesting revelations.

I had a little trouble with Sun seeming to trust Juliet so easily. (At the same time, I didn't doubt Desmond's difficult decision to trust Mikhail). But I guess it was a needed plot device. It was cool to see a Dharma station, as always, even tho the Staff is probably the least interesting.

But the writing and the pacing and always great character work with Sun and Jin really made this episode flow well. It's a powerful bridge between last week's "momentous" events and the last string of episodes before the end of the season!

Next week, we finally get back to Locke's storyline and see what's up with his dad!

Go check out more at Postsecret.

Quote

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
- Edgar Bergen

advice for those planning a wedding

you know how all the bridal magazines and wedding planners tell you to renew your passport and make sure all your papers are in order months before the wedding is scheduled? apparently that's advice to be taken seriously.

i was born in jersey city, nj. this does not seem like particularly important information, except i had the misfortune of being born in a city from which birth certificates that were issued with a raised seal are apparently void. so my wedding is in one month and 2 days. i don't have a valid birth certificate. my passport expired 8 years ago and i stupidly never renewed it. i can't get a marriage license b/c my birth certificate is in valid and my passport is expired. it apparently takes several weeks to order the new birth certificate by mail, so i'll have to go to TRENTON, nj (for those of you familiar with the unpleasant euphemisms attributed to NJ, i'm convinced TRENTON is the reason for all those "armpit" insults) to order my certificate and wait for a few hours for it to be processed. this wouldn't seem like such an issue except i live in D.C., which is 3 hours from trenton, so it's not exactly a drive up the street.

warning for the future: get your papers in order even if you don't have any pressing need to leave the country. you never know when you might be getting married or want to go on a honeymoon.

Is He STILL Our President?

(Source)

Quote

"If you are clear about what you want, the world responds with clarity."
- Loretta Staples

Heroes - Season 1, Episode 19 - .07%

AWWWWWWWWWWWW HELL YEA!!! Heroes is back and I couldn't be more excited to see what is going to happen.

The ex-elusive Linderman is finally taking front stage and reveals to us he has his own powers - an ability to bring things back to life! He shows Nathan around his private art gallery and tells Nathan there are great things that can happen for him if he allows Peter to explode and then rebuilds NY. Nathan is bit drunk on the idea of being president, but still fears the loss of life.

Linderman tells Nathan that if the entire population of NYC died in the blast it would only represent .07% of the Earth's population. Linderman feels this is an "acceptable loss" to make ground for helping the world save itself. Apparently Linderman sees this world as void of humanity and if many people die the world can unite and bring a permanent peace with Nathan as the leader. Nathan has to decide whether he wants to take that role, even if that means Peter must die.

Mr. Bennett (I will call him MB for now on) is trapped in his cell by his former employer. Claire walks in (in her cheerleading outfit) and tries to talk to MB. MB first is happy to see Claire but then sees through the rouse and knows it is Candice Wilmer using her powers to look like Claire. I mean come on, I saw through that one when I saw the outfit.

I really love the scenes that follow between MB and Matt Parkman (even though Matt still can't think for himself). MB somehow knows Matt is trapped in a cell nearby and sends messages for Matt to pick up on. He tells Matt that they are about to kill him and he shows Matt how to escape from his cell. Matt responds to MB by banging on pipes. MB leads Matt out and helps him find Ted who uses his powers to cause all the power in the building to go out. It works and Matt escapes with both MB and Ted.


Later, Ted, Matt and MB are in the Burnt Toast Diner (look familiar?) where Matt talks about the Linderman link. Matt is shedding light on facts that not even MB knew about. MB is middle-management! MB tells Tedd and Matt that they need to get to NY to shut down the tracking device that all of the heroes have on them. They all agree to head to NY by bus.

We finally see the end of the Sylar v. Peter death match. Last episode Peter was about to have his head cut open. Peter heals himself and uses his power to throw Sylar across the room. Mohinder drops to the floor because Sylar lost his concentration. Peter goes invisible, which really impresses Sylar. Then Sylar picks up shards of glass and throws it all around the room to find Peter. Peter is struck and reappears and falls to the ground, lifeless. Mohinder then comes from behind and knocks out Sylar.

When Sylar awakes Peter and Mohinder are gone. On top of that Mohinder destroyed everything in the office - including the map and the computer with "the list." Sylar is infuriated but then finds a small paper with Isaac's name on it. Next victim.

I am not entirely sure how Mohinder, with blood dripping off of him on the verge of death, was able to defeat Sylar, carry Peter out of the apartment and destroy everything in the office - but hey, it's TV.

Mohinder goes to Angela Petrelli's home (Peter's mom) and breaks the bad news that Peter is dead. He brings Peter into the house and she sees the large shard of glass deeply embedded in Peter's skull. Later, Mohinder meets with Thompson (when he thought he was going to meet with MB) and says they need to get Sylar.

Prior to Mohinder showing up, we see Angela trying to convince Claire that she needs to leave NY. Claire is shocked to find out that Angela knew about Claire the entire time (since birth) and never told Nathan she was still alive. Angela reveals that she too has powers (although we don't find out what they are) and that Claire must learn from Angela's experience (that I really don't understand). Angela insists that her and Claire must leave NY immediately so the events that must happen can happen (does that just mean Nathan is elected or does she also know about Peter blowing up?)

As Angela sits aside Peter's lifeless body, Nathan shows up (wow, travel between Vegas and NY is so quick!) and is sad to see his brother in this state. He says that it wasn't supposed to happen like this (thanks to Linderman's information). I want to know - was Nathan sad because his brother is dead or because now Nathan cannot save the world as is his destiny?

Claire walks into the room while Angela and Nathan try to figure out what to do with Peter's body. Angela insists that they must hide it until after the election. Angela says that Peter wouldn't want to interfere with Nathan getting elected. Claire walks in and insists on seeing her family. Claire holds Peter and takes a look at his wound. She knows Peter is the same as her and so she pulls out the glass to see what happens. He comes back to life! AMAZING! I guess Linderman's plan can still happen.

Peter talks Nathan into talking to Claire. During this conversation Angela walks in and tells her sons that she has known about their powers this entire time.

Later, Claire and Nathan have their first real meeting. Nathan then convinces Claire to leave to Paris. Is that because he is trying to save her from the explosion or because he doesn't want her to ruin his election?

Earlier in the episode, DL and Jessica/Nikki (I will call her J/N) are talking about Linderman. DL insists that J/N stop working for Linderman because he only causes problems. He tells J/N that she needs to think about her son and not put him in danger. As this conversation happens Linderman's black-suit men show up and ask J/N to have a meeting with Linderman.

J/N is surprised that Linderman wants a face to face meeting because normally he just sends the black-suit men to give instructions. Linderman confesses that he needs a favor and wants Micah to help him save the world by using Micah's abilities. J/N refuses. She will shoot and kill but her son is off limits.

Later on J/N is seen walking out of her house with Micah and she is talking about him meeting Linderman. (Doesn't she sounds like a proud Jewish mother during this scene?) This was confusing because she just said the opposite about handing over Micah. We should have known Candice was behind it! She impersonated J/N and hands Micah over to Linderman. Just as Linderman leaves we see J/N pull up to her house and Candice walks by and leaves.

Sylar goes to Isaac's studio and we see the picture of Isaac dying in the Sylar style in the background. The moment has come for Sylar to learn how to paint the future. Isaac is ready to accept his fate and says that at least he has shown how to take down Sylar (how is that?). Sylar kills Isaac and then paints an awful version of the painting of Nathan in his elected office. So he can absorb the power to paint the future but he still doesn't have the skills and painting technique.
And although the episode was pretty quiet with respect to Hiro and Ando, we do see them 5 years into the future where NY is demolished and there are cranes in the background showing buildings are coming up. Hiro remembers that Isaac once told him that after the explosion the 'brain man" aka Sylar goes to jail. Hiro goes to Isaac's studio in hopes of getting more help.

While still in the future, Hiro steps into the studio to see newspaper clippings hung across the room. We know Isaac is now dead so he won't be there. Hiro believes the clippings are a timeline of the events that happened. And then suddenly Hiro confronts the impossible - himself in the future!


***

I am really interested in seeing next week's episode. The preview shows what would happen in the future if Peter explodes. Pretty much what we have all been looking forward to all season. I guess the remaining episodes will play out in a way to prevent the explosion from happening.

So what is Angela's power? How did she know Claire was alive this entire time? Is she "in" with Linderman or Thomspon? Do you think Linderman is Peter and Nathan's dad? (I just read on Wikipedia that the dad is named Dallas and fought in Vietnam along side Linderman, and apparently committed suicide 6 months earlier than the first episode) Does she want Peter to die so Nathan can become the leader of the post-explosion world? Is she doing everything she can to make sure that happens?

And is Claire going to leave to Paris? Why Paris? What happened to Angela when she was younger that Claire needs to learn from?

Is future Hiro angry with present Hiro? What happens to Hiro that he gets so edgy in the future? And where is Ando?

What is Micah going to do for Linderman? Will Micah set off a series of events that will lead to the explosion?

Can't wait to see what happens!!!!!

(Pictures from Heroes-Pictures.com)

Stephen King on Cho Seung Hui

Stephen King was asked by Entertainment Weekly about his thoughts on the Virginia Tech murders. Being that Stephen King writes horror stories, I felt it was really interesting to hear his take on it. A lot of people said that Cho should have thrown up warning signals because of his violent stories, but wouldn't Stephen King have thrown up the same flags? When is it just imagination or crossing the line to disturbing insanity?

Here is what Stephen King had to say:

I've thought about it, of course. Certainly in this sensitized day and age, my own college writing — including a short story called ''Cain Rose Up'' and the novel RAGE — would have raised red flags, and I'm certain someone would have tabbed me as mentally ill because of them, even though I interacted in class, never took pictures of girls' legs with my cell phone (in 1970, WHAT cell phones?), and never signed my work with a ?.

As a teacher, I had one student — I will call him George — who raised red flags galore in my own mind: stories about flaying women alive, dismemberment, and, the capper, ''getting back at THEM.'' George was very quiet, and verbally inarticulate. It was only in his written work that he spewed these relentless scenes of gore and torture. His job was in the University Bookstore, and when I inquired about him once, I was told he was a good worker, but ''quiet.'' I thought, ''Whoa, if some kid is ever gonna blow, it'll be this one.'' He never did. But that was in the days before a gun-totin' serial killer could get top billing on the Nightly News and possibly the covers of national magazines.

For most creative people, the imagination serves as an excretory channel for violence: We visualize what we will never actually do (James Patterson, for instance, a nice man who has all too often worked the street that my old friend George used to work). Cho doesn't strike me as in the least creative, however. Dude was crazy. Dude was, in the memorable phrasing of Nikki Giovanni, ''just mean.'' Essentially there's no story here, except for a paranoid a--hole who went DEFCON-1. He may have been inspired by Columbine, but only because he was too dim to think up such a scenario on his own.

On the whole, I don't think you can pick these guys out based on their work, unless you look for violence unenlivened by any real talent.

Quote

"There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures."
- James Thurber

Downtown Miami Adventure

I am a minority in Miami. I walk. I walk to work, I walk to stores, I walk for fun.

Everyone else, however, drives and this city even rivals Los Angeles as a car driver's utopia.

This wonderful post by Gabriel J. Lopez-Bernal details a walk he took around downtown Miami and how un-friendly this city really is to us pedestrians. He took some great pictures of the construction zone that is Downtown Miami to highlight the situation. The best part? There's two more pieces in his series! Can't wait! Keep up the good work, Gabriel.



Thanks to Alesh for the great link.

Quote/Lyrics of the Day

Truly we have become,
Hated and feared for something we don't want,
Listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Most of us believe that this is wrong.

- My Morning Jacket, "Gideon"

COME TO THE COTILLION

AID ATLANTA is the Southeast's largest AIDS service organization. They provide outreach, research, and support for those who are infected/affected by HIV & AIDS.

One of the largest fundraisers that AID ATLANTA has is the annual Atlanta Cotillion. This year, I have the honor of participating in Cotillion as one of the Debutantes. Below is a brief history of the Cotillion and it's efforts:

In 1997, J. D. Kellum and Jeff Paramore created the first Atlanta Cotillion Ball to provide a creative and unique opportunity to raise awareness as well as funds for the HIV/AIDS community. In 2002, led by John McGuirk and a dedicated group of community volunteers, the Atlanta Cotillion was reorganized to maximize the fundraising potential of this unique event. In 2004 John McGuirk passed the leadership responsibilities to Edward Holifield, Harrison Perry and Greg Whitmire.

Edward Holifield and Greg Whitmire currently Co-Chair Atlanta Cotillion. Their shared vision as Co-Chairs is to enhance and grow the event each year while remaining true to its founding traditions. Annually, 12 gentlemen from the Atlanta community are invited to participate as Debutantes in a fundraising competition to benefit HIV / AIDS charities. Since 2002, the Atlanta Cotillion has donated more than $250,000 to AID Atlanta, the largest AIDS service organization in the southeast. For more information on AID Atlanta, visit http://www.aidatlanta.org.

After months of creative individual Debutante fundraising efforts, the Atlanta Cotillion social season culminates in the lively and entertaining Atlanta Cotillion Ball. In keeping to tradition the Debutantes with their escort are presented to celebrate their fundraising successes. As the highlight of the evening, the Debutante who has raised the most funds is crowned Queen of the Atlanta Cotillion Ball. Past Atlanta Cotillion Ball Queens consist of Aric Castleberry 2002, Harrison Perry 2003, Steve Dondero 2004. In 2005 having raised a record $25,000 Jody Woodruff was crowned Queen of the Atlanta Cotillion Ball.

Each year, the Cotillion hovers just below the $100,000 mark in funds raised. Last year, $94,000 were raised - with ALL of that going directly to AID Atlanta. 100 % of the proceeds go directly to AID Atlanta and their efforts! This year, we plan to break the $100,000 mark.

How can you help me? Well, you can support my efforts at Cotillion. On May 1, the website - www.atlantacotillion.com, will be up and running. Simply go to my area (Steven Igarashi), and you can donate online. Additionally, I'm interested in any ideas you have for fundraising. Wanna throw a fundraiser for me? GREAT! Work for a large company that can sponsor me? EVEN BETTER! No idea is too small or too large!!!!

Let me hear from you! It's for a great cause, and I hope to see you at Cotillion on September 15, 2007.

Thanks!!

Is It Time Yet?

Finally!!!! Heroes is back tonight with an episode called .07%





Last episode we left off with finally seeing the face of Linderman when Nathan Petrelli goes to visit him in Vegas. Also in Las Vegas, Hiro gets his sword with the unexpected help of Ando.

And in the final scene - Peter Petrelli v Sylar - with Sylar holding both Peter and Mohinder in death grips.

Check out the last episode's recap (Parasites) here.

What is going to happen tonight? Will Peter get out? How will Claire's meeting with her father (biological father - Nathan) go? Will Hiro save the world? Is Matt going to make a decision on his own? Will Niki/Jessica go all psycho again? Will we finally learn Mr. Bennett's first name?

Until tonight....

***UPDATE*** Check out the recap for Episode 19 of Season 1 - .07% here.

Quote

"A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors."
- William Ralph Inge

Postsecret Pick of the Week

More at Postsecret.com.

Quote

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."
- William James

Lost - Season 3, Episode 17 - "Catch 22" Recap/Review

Only one word can describe last night's hour-long thrill ride: "Yes!" as in, "Wow!" *pumps fist* "Cool!"

Some fellow Lost fans were trepidatious about the follow-up to the brilliant Desmond-centered, time-travely episode, "Flashes Before Your Eyes," but I knew we were in for a good one. I listened to the Lost Official Podcast yesterday before the episode and Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof said something "momentous" was going to happen in "Catch 22," and they were right! Let's get to it, then.

The episode starts in the deep jungle, in the rain, with Desmond leading a motley crew of survivors: Hurley, Jin, and Charlie. Hurley and Charlie are debating who would win in a race, Superman or The Flash. Suddenly, Charlie steps on a wire. He looks up to see an arrow pointed at his head. Instead of calling out for help, he continues his step, removes pressure from the wire (this was a "WHAT?" moment for me) and the arrow flies out and impales him in the neck. The scene is gruesome and bloody for Lost.

I was shocked. We all know about Desmond's flashes, but my brain didn't go there first, it went straight to "Oh my god! Charlie!"

Desmond and the others fly to grab his body. Jin begs Desmond for help but he fumbles, screams, "There's nothing I can do!" Charlie gurgles and chokes to death.

Flashes! A sequence of images foretelling the future come in rapid-fire speed on the screen. We see Hurley picking up a cable in the sand, a strange red light in the sky, the familiar picture of Desmond and Penny, Charlie dying, and finally, feet dangling in the air.

Desmond opens his eyes. He’s on the beach, fishing. It’s a clear blue day. He looks behind him at the other survivors. His gaze moves from one face to the other until he sees Charlie walking along, alive as ever.

Desmond immediately jumps up and runs towards Hurley. He asks Hurley if he knows where Rosseau’s cable is up the beach. Hurley says yes. (He found it after he went on a walkabout after Libby died). He then asks him for his help in some “future stuff.” Hurley asks why. Desmond thinks for a moment as if running through his memory. He says, “Because someone’s coming.”

Cue LOST logo.

The first flashback sequence finds a silent Desmond in a monastery. A monk comes to see him and hands him the brown robes of a new recruit. The monk’s name is Brother Campbell and he speaks briefly about a vow of silence that the brothers take to show their devotion. Campbell had doubted Desmond’s devotion, but now, he sees Desmond is ready. He’s one of them. Desmond breaks his silence and says, “Thank you… brother.”

On the beach, Hurley and Desmond go up to Jack and ask for a first aid kit. Desmond says he’s got a twisted ankle and he wants to borrow some tape. Why Jack doesn’t just give him tape but rather hands over a whole medical kit is a little bit of a mystery, but hey, whatev!

Next, Hurley and Desmond go spy on Jin catching fish. Desmond doesn’t know how to ask Jin to help them. Hurley says, “Let me handle this.” He goes up to Jin and says two important words: “Camping” and “Marshmallows.” Jin smiles and agrees to come.

Then, the most important piece of the puzzle, Desmond goes alone to see Charlie, who’s playing his guitar. Charlie, of course, is reluctant to agree. “This has something to do with me dying again, doesn’t it?” he says (paraphrased, of course). Desmond begs him to come, tells him he needs for something important. Charlie just says, “Can I bring my guitar?”

Meanwhile, another pointless Sawyer storyline is going on. This one has to do with Kate. Sawyer goes to see her in a pretty gratuitous state of dress and they talk about “the Doc.” Kate says he knows that her and Sawyer slept together. Sawyer seems pleased. He says now that that’s out of the bag, how ‘bout a little “afternoon delight?” Kate walks away, but not before Sawyer calls out, “What? Do I need to make you a mixtape?”

Away from camp, the four intrepid explorers (the B-team, as I’ll call them, because these are not the typical “go out and adventure guys!”) walk up the beach until they find the cable. Charlie wonders if they’re going to go deep into the jungle now but Desmond shakes his head. “It’s getting late,” he says, “let’s make camp.” Jin is excited. “Camping??”

The next flashback finds Desmond and Brother Campbell putting on stickers on wine bottles. Desmond asks about the name the brothers have given for their wine: Moriah. The mountain where God commanded Abraham to kill his son, Isaac, as a test of his devotion. Campbell says Desmond underestimates the importance of sacrifice. Suddenly, another monk appears and says a man insists on seeing Desmond. The man punches Desmond in the nose and then walks away. Desmond looks up at Campbell and apologizes.

Back at the camp, Kate meets Jack in the kitchen. Kate says she doesn’t really know what to do with herself these days, with no one to rescue, “no cells to escape from.” Jack assures her that something will definitely go wrong in a few days. He then takes two bowls of oatmeal and goes to have dinner with Juliet.

Kate then goes to Sawyer’s tent and jumps on him. Sawyer is, at first, reluctant. He says, “Are you crying?” Kate tells him to shut up and attacks him (in the not-bad-way).

Down next to the cable, the boys are having a good 'ole camping experience. Charlie is using his guitar for sound effects while Jin is telling a horror story in Korean. It ends the same way every campfire horror story ends, with a man without a hand! Desmond is sitting away from the others and Charlie goes over to see him. Desmond is looking at the picture of him and Penny in Sydney.

A loud sound coming from the ocean seems to get louder. Jin is the first to notice it, and then they all stand up and stretch their ears. “Is that…. ?” Charlie exclaims, “It’s a helicopter!” They stare up at the cloudy sky. They don’t see anything, but the regular sound of the helicopter’s propels sputters and then there’s a large splash in the ocean. The guys wonder about jumping into the water but it seems far away. Then, they look behind them and see a blinking red light coming down over the island and crashing nearby. Desmond immediately wants to run after it but the others –especially Charlie- make him wait for the morning.

Back in flashback land, Desmond goes to a house in a suburban neighborhood. He knocks on the door and sees the man that punched him in the nose. The man says, “Leave,” but Desmond just asks if “she’s” here. A woman appears. Her name is Ruth and she and Desmond sit down to have tea. Desmond begins to apologize but Ruth cuts him off. She says there’s no way he can make up for what he did. Desmond apparently left town just days before their wedding, meanwhile everything - the catering, the hall, etc. - was paid for. Desmond just apologizes (again).

In the jungle, the B-team comes upon some random stuff fallen on the jungle floor, including a hula-hula girl doll and an Italian-language edition of Joseph Heller’s “Catch 22,” and a Satellite phone! Of course, the satellite phone dies as soon as they turn it on. Desmond picks up the book, though, and thumbs through it until he finds a picture lodged as a bookmark. It’s a very familiar image. It’s Desmond and Penny!

Desmond is convinced it’s Penny who fell out of the sky. He gets them all to move faster than before, intent now on his beloved.

In flashback land, in the monastery, Desmond is getting drunk on the Moriah wine. Brother Campbell comes upon him and asks, “What are you doing, Desmond?” Desmond is basically like, What does it look like? Campbell sits down and tells him he’s not cut out for the monk lifestyle. Desmond is surprised. He says, “But I am a monk.” Campbell shakes his head, “Not anymore,” he says.

In the jungle, heavy rain starts to fall. Charlie and Hurley start arguing about who would win in a footrace, Superman or The Flash. Desmond gets a strange look on his face as the events unfold exactly as he saw. He even looks back just in time to see Charlie’s surprised look as he steps on a wire. An arrow flings towards Charlie’s neck. Desmond screams, “DUCK!” and tackles Charlie to the ground. The arrow narrowly misses both their heads and plunges into Charlie’s guitar.

Charlie is astonished and gives Desmond a look of, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”

Back in Flashback-land again, a plain-clothes Desmond goes to see Brother Campbell to say Goodbye. He doesn’t seem to hold any remorse or anger. Desmond is a go with the flow kind of guy. (Notably: on Brother Campbell's desk, there's a picture of Ms. Hawking from the previous Desmond episode.) Campbell says if he’s willing to wait, someone is coming to pick up a shipment of wine and can give him a ride. Desmond, of course, agrees and next we see him loading boxes onto the back of a station wagon. The driver is Penny and the two of them seem to fall for each other within moments.

Back in the jungle, the B-team comes upon a person hanging from the trees. A parachute lies above them. The person has a black flight suit on with a white helmet obscuring their face and a red blinking collar. Desmond climbs up a tree and uses his machete to snap one of the ropes. The parachutes falls into the hands of Jin, Hurley, and Charlie. Then Desmond cuts the second rope and the person falls onto the makeshift net. Desmond quickly runs down the tree and cradles the person’s head. He says, “Penny,” and takes off her helmet. But it’s not Penny. It’s a dark skinned woman we’ve never seen before. She whispers, “Desmond,” and then passes out.

* * *

Well, I don't think my simple recap really did justice for this wonderful episode. There was an incredible sense of drama and timing and a sharp visceral feeling to the episode. Everything just popped. Lots of great character interaction, some surprising laughs, and some truly exciting moments. If Lost keeps up this momentum, we're in for a hell of a season finale!

I will say that the episode did not inspire such wonder as the "Flashes Before Your Eyes" episode. I felt like the time travel and other weirdness factors in that episode really upped the level of possible Sci-Fi Lost-ness, while this episode was more typical LOST, all the regular actors, a nice big journey through the jungle, while still surprising us. Think about us, it's been almost 3 full seasons and this is the first time someone else has crash-landed on the island (besides the fictious Henry Gale/Ben thing). I can't wait to find out who this person is and what her connection to Penny is.

I want it to be Wednesday again!

(Images, as always, from Lost-Media.com and lostpedia.com)

Quote

"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
- William Safire

Ismail Ax

You all know there was a really scary and sad event that happened on Monday. A young man took the lives of 32 of his co-eds and his own life at the campus of Virginia Tech.

Cho Seung-Hu was his name and before he committed this horrific act he wrote something on his arm in red ink- Ismail Ax

Two days later, a package arrives at NBC's NY headquarters. A postal employee notices the Blacksburg return address and the words "Ismail Ax" written in red ink and she brought it to NBC's attention.

---

Honestly, I didn't know what to say after this terrible event happened. It weighed heavily on my mind and I just didn't even know where to begin. This type of violence is senseless and possibly only done for celebrity-like results. Why else send in a video? Did he think there was an audition to win the honor of being the hand that caused the worst bloodbath on American soil?

---

So what is up with "Ismail Ax"? What does it mean? Check out Boing Boing's analysis - it is pretty interesting.

---

He got the world's attention. What are we supposed to learn from all of this? Is he just a freak that had a mental imbalance - or is something causing people to be like this? He isn't the first to do something like this - although his was pretty extreme - so where does it come from?

---

My heart goes out to all those in pain during this time.

Taxes Could Be So Much Easier...

...and they are in California.

Since 2004, the California government provided to a test group of state citizens pre-filled out tax forms which merged in information that is readily available to the government, such as your W-2. For most people who don't own property, stocks, or have any tax deductions, all you would need to do is sign the form and send it back (and pay any money due). And really, that is the majority of people!

The program was actually put on hold for this current tax season because of some opposition. Some people said it was an invasion of privacy. It has also been said that some of the opposition was actually funded by companies like H&R Block, who stand to lose a lot of money if people don't use their services. But, in the end it just worked as a delay tactic and the program should be back in effect for next year's taxes.

Don't get this government program confused with the scams where they tell you they will send you pre-filled out tax forms and you will get back thousands of dollars in refunds. Those scam forms contain fake numbers, such as tax deductions for mortgages even if you don't own a home. They could end up putting you in jail for fraud. The California government issued forms are completely legit and contain real information that can be traced.

Of course, if you want to supplement those government issued forms and make various deductions you are free to do so, but for many Americans, especially low-income tax payers, the burden of filling out tax forms or having a company do it for you is often too expensive or time consuming and often gets looked over. For these people who only fill out simple tax forms they can avoid the IRS filing a lawsuit for tax evasion or having to pay back taxes all at once. Especially when back-taxes compound plus interest and are completely unaffordable.

And you know, really it makes sense to have these pre-filled out forms. When a company wants money from you do they say "tell me how much you think you owe and I will let you know if you are right"? Of course not! Companies send you an invoice or a statement and tell you how much you owe. Of course if you want to dispute the amount owed or have some reason to deduct from the amount due then you give proof of that. But why should the payor have the burden of figuring it all out?

So why don't other states follow suit? Well, it seems that companies that help prepare taxes, such as TurboTax or H&R Block, are going to do everything in their power to stop that from happening. But who knows, maybe in a few years we will see a new efficient way of doing taxes.

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"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."
- Thomas Jefferson

The Britto Backlash?

Critical Miami has a great post about the new shopping center being built on the corner of 5th Street and Alton Road in South Beach.

The same company that is constructing this complex also built the Dadeland Station as well as other shopping complexes in Kendall.

Nothing on the face is wrong with that, except for the fact that the builder is completely obsessed with Britto. Every single space they can find for art (even in their homes) is covered in bright colored stars, shapes, hearts, faces - the things that are Britto.

Well there is some law down here about art in public spaces. I guess if you are using public space (including public parking) then you must include some type of art piece in your structure. Critical Miami points to a New Times article from 2 years ago that picks up on the problems with the new South Beach shopping complex - it's either Britto and public parking or Britto and private parking.

The shopping complex planned to sell the parking garage to Miami Beach which then triggered the Art in Public Places Ordinance. Under that law the developer has to pay a fee of 1.5% of the construction costs (about $500,000) to the Arts in Public Places commission and then the Art in Public Places Committee gets involved where they approve the art chosen for the project.

Many people have come out to say that the Britto love has to stop. There is a need to pick other artists and not just those artists that are your friends. However, anyone who is stepping up against Britto is quickly going to be squashed because this shopping complex isn't required to have any art if it chooses to do everything privately. If they choose not to sell the garage to the City of Miami, the builder can choose to put up Britto no matter what anyone's opinion is.

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"The great Western disease is, 'I'll be happy when... When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job.' Well, the reality is, you never get to when. The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there. It's in here. And happiness is not next week. It's now."
- Marshall Goldsmith

Who Is Lily Allen?

I don't know who Lily Allen is or what kind of music she plays or if she is any good at all. But I did just read that she canceled a whole slew of US Tours and here is the reason she gave on her Myspace Blog for canceling the tour:

Hey Guys ,
I'm writing to tell you that I have cancelled many of my May and June tour commitments in America . The reason for this , is because my mummy and daddy are very rich , and I have never been in a position where i have actually had to do any hard work before . I thought that being a popstar meant going out getting trashed with famous people and sleeping in all day . The fact that this is not true has come as a huge dissapiontment to me , and as a result I am throwing the towel in .

No but seriously , I have been on tour with this album for a year now , I have fulfilled every commitment up to this point . I am tired , but more than that I don't think I have been giving my best performances recently . I have been getting really drunk because i've been so nervous about doing bad shows , and I don't want people spending money on a going to see a show that isnt the best it could be . I am not falling apart at the seems , I am not suffering with exhaustion , I am not pregnant , and I am not going to rehab . I will be here in America , promoting the album and also starting to write the second album , which I am beyond excited about . The LA and New York shows will still be happening , and I am still playing Coachella and Bonaroo and all the other festivals .

I'd like to apologise to anyone who has bought tickets , but you can get your money back , if you take 'em back to the place you bought them from .

Who says that? Seriously? That isn't a way to keep fans! Do you see Madonna getting tired? And she is like double your age!!!!

Quote of the Day (Sopranos Edition)

Tony Soprano: "So, how was Florida?"

Phil Leotardo: "Hot and sticky, like my balls."

Postsecret

Last night's Postsecret event was awesome!! I hope some of you were able to check it out. I met Frank and he signed one of my books. He is a cool guy and really approachable.

The walls had these things hanging on them that look like photo sleeves (from a photo album) that hold 6 postcards each. You could read both the front and back of each card this way. They also had a slide show of blown up postcards as well.

I talked to a lot of people about the project and got some really great reactions. People really started to think about their own secrets and what they could send to Frank. Frank actually asked me if I ever sent him a card and oddly enough (with being obsessed and all) I haven't. My automatic response is "I really don't have secrets" but I should have known better - we all have secrets. But I think seeing the postcards each week for the last year and a half has taught me to be more open about things and share something I would otherwise consider a secret.

Only strange thing about the event is that the venue censored some of the cards because of mature content. So instead of the real postcard there was some other card that just said the real card was being censored. Some of the mature content cards were actually hidden behind the venue created censored cards, but some were not there at all. So I'm not sure what's up with that exactly...

Anyway, I want to thank Frank and 4 Projects (and Dejha) for bringing this great event to Miami and exposing more people to this thought provoking project.

And as always....go check out Postsecret for its weekly new set of postcards.